And here’s the pitch…

Have I mentioned how much I hate pitching?

Coming up with a pitch (generally shorter than a query) is a thorn in my side so big, it leaves a big, gaping, bleeding hole. Not a pleasant visual, huh? It’s not supposed to. Distilling your work into a single sentence, or maybe three, if you’re lucky, will have your head connecting with the nearest hard surface. Probably multiple times.

I did a twenty five word pitch a few months ago. It wasn’t selected, which, in retrospect, was a huge relief, because I pitched something that wasn’t by any means ready to be read. Then I did a second one, two sentences, and failed. I skipped a pitch contest that required the use of Twitter (I am not a fucking bird. Twitter, at this point in my life, is completely useless for me. End of rant). Now, thanks to Savvy Authors, I have multiple pitch opportunities.

The first one takes place on June 22nd, and it’s a three line pitch to an editor at Sourcebooks. For me, if I can find a book in the library, even if it’s a publisher I’ve never heard of before, it tells me that publisher may not be so obscure. As I’ve found a few books from Sourcebooks at my local library (which is, granted, a kickass library system) I figure they must know what they’re doing.

Anyway. Three lines, within the romance genre and subgenres. I can do this. I swear I can do this. Right? I can pitch Shadowdemon in three lines. I did a mental happy dance when I read about this pitch contest because she’s looking for romance trilogies. While I suppose you could technically categorize Shadowdemon as urban fantasy, the romantic elements are so damn strong I’d stick it in paranormal romance. Audrey’s relationship with Jordan is a huge part of the story. After all, when you’ve got a crazy, and crazy sexy, guy telling you it’s up to save your city from a race of demons, well, let’s just say trust is an issue between them and leave it at that.

Savvy Authors has a few more pitch events lined up for July, all of the single line variety. These are for agents, mostly. To all the aspiring (and non-aspiring) authors who read or otherwise stumble upon this blog, if you haven’t signed up for Savvy Authors yet, you’re a frickin’ idiot and if I could virtually drag you by the ear to the Savvy Authors website and force you to sign up, I would. Because there’s no reason not to. It’s free, and they offer all sorts of online classes, workshops, and forums. Really. Your only reason to not sign up would be because you hate getting email. And if you hate getting email, you could probably figure out a way to redirect the weekly newsletter to your spam folder so you never have to see it. See? Win/win!

As far as queries go, I’ve had several “no” responses, and a lot more non-responses. To be perfectly honest, I’ve only sent out a handful of queries. May is the worst month for me to do anything, and I spent a good portion of what free time I had working on a new story (Best Served Cold; you can read a really poorly written blurb under “Works in Progress”) or revising old stuff. Or watching movies. Or sleeping. Or watching Deadliest Catch. God that Bering Sea is a bitch!

I probably ought to devote more time to researching agents, following up with a few queries that have been out there for over a month, and blasting the query for Shadowdemon until I receive cease and desist orders. And now that May is over, I could probably squeeze in more time. Or I could spend that time editing. Or reading. Or procrastinating in other ways.

But really. It’s time to buckle down to work. Right after I finish giggling over silly cats at ICanHasCheezburger.

(This is my cat. ALL. THE. TIME.)

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