Who said anything about being rational?

I have a slightly irrational fear of the apocalypse.

I can handle zombie invasions. Aliens destroying our planet. But put me in a situation where there’s a deadly virus set on decimating the population, and I will curl into the fetal position and cry for mommy.

Last night, while the BF was a rehearsal, I settled in to watch another episode of MI-5. MI-5, for those of you who are just joining us, is a British drama (entitled Spooks for those on the other side of the Atlantic) that focuses on the inner workings of…wait for it…MI-5. British intelligence. I love it. The stories are tight, thoroughly believable, and it doesn’t hurt that the first few seasons starred Matthew Macfayden and the last few seasons starred Richard Armitage.

But Tom! Violence is not the answer!

Anyway, the episode I watched had to do with Tom (Matthew Macfayden) running what he thought, initially, was a

disaster drill. A terror threat escalated to the point where a bomb containing a nerve agent, VX, went off in Parliment Square. Initially thinking it really was just a drill, the people on the Grid ended up locked down in Thames House, cut off from the outside world, thinking that this was no longer a drill, that it was a terror threat that went far beyond London. They managed to link up to a satellite feed and all they saw were pictures of empty streets, and the few times they were patched through to people in other offices, the feed was sketchy at best and then would cut off abruptly, never to be heard or seen again.

The entire time I was watching it, I was alternating between quietly freaking out and saying no, it really was a drill the whole time (I was right. It was a test of Tom’s leadership.) The whole freaking out thing came from seeing the empty streets, the lock down, the lack of communication between offices…not to mention the tempers that rose second by second as people wanted to make a made dash for the exit.

I had the same problem when I saw Perfect Sense at SIFF this year. Same with watching Helo run around all alone on Caprica in Battlestar: Galactica. And if I look past the terrified, watching-through-my-fingers factor, 28 Days Later caused problems for the same reasons. And don’t get me started on The Rapture.

I’m a big fan of solitude. Working in a customer service oriented environment makes me want to spend a good chunk of my free time by myself, engaging in solitary pursuits. But the thought of being one of a few survivors of a deadly virus just scares the bejeebus out of me. I like being able to seek out company when I want it. And let’s face it, regular, intellectually stimulating interaction with other humans is what separates us from the lesser animals.

The flip side of all this is that post-apocalyptic novel I’d been toying with for over a year? I’ve got a ton more ideas for it now. I think my brain may explode from creativity overload.

Yeah. I don’t think I can handle the apocalypse.

*image via spooks.wikia.com

2 thoughts on “Who said anything about being rational?

  1. Okay, I’m an MI-5 AND MacFadyen fan (love the eyes…have you seen him in Pride and Prejudice? *Swoon*) and I’m on board with the whole end-of-the-world-thing-freaks-my-sh*t-out. If you haven’t read The Road yet, do it. You basically want to crawl under your desk and suck yer toes while rocking back and forth from the stomach-turning images in your head. It was GREAT! (The movie was okay too but the book is better).

    So…I would totally read your post-apoc book.

    1. You know, I have a problem with Cormac McCarthy. He’s almost unreadable. I’ll give it a shot, though. And if I ever get around to writing the book, I’ll be sure to let you know 🙂

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