breaking the tape

i’ve been trying to write this post for the past four days, so today, and numerous versions later, i’m just gonna go ahead and post it.


somehow, i managed to pull off a superhuman feat of endurance and finished the last chapter of the last book of the shadowdemon trilogy. this was accomplished last friday, and since then, i’ve done nothing but work, watch TV, and read. it’s been glorious. so much so that despite the new stories knocking around in my brain, anxious to get out, despite the need to push right into edits, i’ve yet to sit down and actually write anything that wasn’t a) work related or b) a blog post.

i have a plan. i really do. i’m taking a page from hack’s book and doing the first round of edits myself (which, for me, includes not only adding or deleting words, sentences, or whole paragraphs, but going back and capitalizing proper names, places, and the beginning of sentences) and then i’ll be passing it off to two people who have very generously agreed to read it and give comments. i’ve got a critique set up with an industry professional next weekend to go over the first chapter.

only problem is, now that it’s done, i’m finding i have very little desire to pick it back up again.

i love my characters, and i miss them. i miss them in the same way you miss a beloved character when you reach the end of a series. and i know that time is of the essence here: shadowdemon is pretty on trend, and who knows if a year from now the paranormal market will being doing as well as it is now. although…isn’t the second part of breaking dawn going to be released in theatres next year? i guess we can all thank stephanie meyers for the surge in market shares.

i’ve had the same reluctance with a lesson in vanishing as well, even though i’ve got a critique set up for that. oh, and the FA, via the FAS by way of the BF, has told me to junk the opening two lines. i have yet to decide if i should take the FA’s advice. i mean, if the FA says jump, i should just say how high, right? except that people following blindly is how cults are formed. i think.

i’ve run through the tape at the end of the race, and now i feel like i’m still wandering around, my hands on my head, lungs heaving. i know i should stretch out, re-center myself, try and figure out what to do next. only, i don’t want to. the urgency that caused me to write over 150,000 words in a little over two months has drained away, and all i want to do is catch up on my reading and try and watch as many movies on my netflix queue as possible.

there’s no reason why i can’t do that. it’s just that where i used to be just fine with leaving projects half-finished, i’m finding i can’t do that anymore. maybe it’s got to do with having taken all 8 exams for my CEBS in a little over a year and a half, but the thought of leaving shadowdemon to languish in a drawer for months on end is galling enough that i just might dive right back in.

if i do, though, i’ll need a thesaurus. here’s a brief list of words that, off the top of my head, i think i used a little too much: skin, fingers, wrapped, turned, look, my, i, echo, reached. i have a decent vocabulary. you can’t graduate from college without one.

on second thought, you probably can these days. what i should say is that you can’t read as much as i do and not have a decent vocabulary. however, judging by some of my chapters, you’d never know that i’ve read copious amounts of books and hold a bachelor’s degree in sociology.

what it comes down to is me needed to stop whining already and suck it up. which is why i’ve got the document containing the draft of vanishing open and ready to go, ready for me to jump back into frankie’s world. ready to knock that sucker out so i can move on to the edits for shadowdemon. ready to think of a better title for book three than shadowfighter, because as titles go, that one is supremely lame. i hate it. i will take any and all suggestions. really. any and all.

so cue “chariots of fire” and insert the montage of the slo-mo marathon run. i’m about to duck back into the race. gack. someone shoot me now.

*image via

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