Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
i suppose now is when i face it and say i’m not the most introspective of people. really, though, it’s not that i’m not introspective. it’s just that for the most part, i don’t live a terribly exciting life. i imagine that there are a large number of ordinary people, just like me, who are so settled into a routine that it would take a huge, monstrous event to jolt us awake.
i guess, when it comes to letting go, it implies drama. and drama left my life a few years ago. i sought out solitude and prefer to spend a great deal of my free time by myself. for this, i am so thankful my BF works an opposite schedule. i don’t see him all that much, which at times is kind of annoying, because i would like to see him a little more often, but most days, the mere thought of being able to come home to an empty house, with only zen-san and demeter for company, i want to execute a little happy dance.
at this point, i’ve typed and deleted around 500 words, on average. there are some bloggers out there who are comfortable letting it all hang out. i’m just not one of them. if you look back through my posts, you’ll find my opinions on a wide range of topics, but rarely will you find anything that is personal for me. i have a life. it’s a rather ordinary life, but i like it and don’t feel the need to share it with everyone.
it does make me wonder why i’m making any attempt at #reverb10. if the whole idea is to exercise your demons from the past year, then obviously i won’t get much out of this. whatever demons i have, i accepted them long ago. maybe that’s more of the point. letting go implies a conscious decision. i also think it’s a load of bullshit. say someone hurts you, emotionally, but you decide to “let go” of your anger. really all you’re doing is making an effort to not think about the person, or their actions, but you will, eventually, think back on that event and find that your feelings have dissipated. that really doesn’t strike me as letting anything go.
i like acceptance better. as a word, and as an idea, it’s much more plausible. it’s like the first part of the 12-step prayer (or whatever they call it) you accept the things you cannot change. i would say i’ve accepted a whole hell of a lot over the past few years. it works a lot better than trying to let go.